Nondirective, Experiential Play Therapy

[Regrets, Andy Rose is not accepting new clients at this time.]

(3-11 year olds)

Integrated EMDR for: Internalized, Depressed or Externalized, Acting Out Behavior; Age-Inappropriate Behavior; Resolution of Emotional Stress from loss and grief, conflicted divorce, medical procedures, or motor vehicle accidents.

Tenents of Synergetic Play Therapy™ (a non-directive experiential therapy)

• The therapist supports the child in changing his perceptions of the perceived challenging events and thoughts in his life.
• Attunement between therapist and child is essential in order to heal disorganization in the lower brain stem and re-pattern their nervous system
• The therapist models self-regulation to the child, because children learn most through observation
• The therapist’s ability to use mindfulness to be congruent and authentic in her language and non-verbal signals allows the child to feel safe in the relationship and engage in “mindsight”; a term coined by Daniel Siegel to describe the human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others.  It is the lens through which we can understand our inner lives with more clarity, integrate the brain, and enhance our relationship with others.
• The child’s symptoms are understood as symptoms of dys-regulated states of the nervous system.
• The therapist is the most important toy in the playroom.   Toys are used to help facilitate the relationship between the therapist and the child.  At SPT’s essence toys and language are not required.
• The therapist supports the child in getting in touch with her authentic self; who the child truly is rather than who she thinks she should be.
• The child projects his inner world onto the toys and therapist setting them up to experience his perception of what it feels like to be him.

From International Journal of Play Therapy:
Impact of Therapist Authentic Expression on Emotional Tolerance in Synergetic Play Therapy

Non-directive Experiential Play Therapy, An Introduction

Andrew Rose, LPC (2014)

Play Therapy is a demonstrated effective intervention for children who have experienced trauma caused by motor vehicle accidents, medical procedures, violence seen or felt, neglect, adoption issues, divorce, loss, or other difficult transitions during their development. Impacts of trauma are experienced in thought, in emotion, in body sensations and in behavior and reactions to situations in the present. Because traumatic situations take emotional work to process, children are distracted from their normal “developmental tasks” and later may act younger than their chronological age. Children with impasses in their development due to high stresses in their pasts are able to express their difficult experience in metaphors created in play. In play they resolve their “unfinished business” caused by trauma and succeed in completing the developmental task left undone.

Play Therapy proceeds in stages of exploration, testing-for-protection, working, and integration. In the non-directive experiential play therapy process, children first explore the play environment and then “test for protection,” gradually displaying a variety of behaviors to see where the therapist holds boundaries. Within the play therapy context, the child is allowed full expression short of hurting themselves or the therapist, or damaging objects or damaging the environment.

Emotional safety allows for vulnerability, which arises when difficult truths are expressed. A child in play will gradually experience a sense of safety by enacting some behavior (“testing-for-protection”) and checking the therapist for consistency, as well as checking for the absence of contact breaks, boredom, or defensiveness when holding boundaries. Assured, the child will feel emotionally safe. Thoughts, feelings, speech and action can happen without fear of reproach or over-reactions. In order for the intervention to proceed, the child must express metaphors of their conflicted experience through play activity or speech, and so creating safety for this expression is an important task for the therapist.

When the child is satisfied that the container for their ‘work’ will be held safe, they will express previously repressed feelings and elicit fulfillment of previously unmet needs. The therapist acts in response to the lead of the child, without asking questions or directing play, occasionally using simple words to validate the child’s activities and feelings. The child is given free reign to direct the play and is not performing or meeting the needs of an adult. The therapist’s goal is for the child to feel “seen” in their story, and through being seen, the child resolves the impasse of the past and returns to the tasks appropriate for their age. Through the “working” stage of therapy, the child’s home and school behavior may become more expressive as they experience success in attempting to get their needs met. When the need for expression and understanding is satisfied, the behavior of the child turns age appropriate and relational (involving and caring for others).

A clinical case illustrates the course and impact of play therapy. “Sharon,” at seven, was acting inappropriately in her school environment, disrupting and upsetting her classmates and teacher. Her history included some profound neglect and unsafe environments. Her behavior evoked concern from the school and she was referred to play therapy. Through 24 sessions, she repeatedly played out a story of waking up in her bedroom when an intruder was present. There were also themes of nourishment (filling open containers with sand), power and control, and physical touch. In time, Sharon’s experiences of lack of safety, nutrition, privacy, and attention were felt by the therapist, who shared his ability to hold these strong and difficult feelings (“regulation of affect”), and her experience and emotions were seen and heard by the therapist. Relational play increased while disturbing behaviors at school and home tapered off. In some cases the introduction of EMDR, Brainspotting, and other trauma resolution protocols, when appropriate, can reduce treatment time.

What can a parent do?

Children having problems with their own feelings may misinterpret their parents’ and others’ actions and assume harmful intent. They may act confused, insecure, or angry and feel victimized for little apparent reason. The parent may not be able to meet the child’s need because the child is confused about what’s happening and may not be able to form an understandable request. Without the ability to express verbally they must express through play, the language of children.

Consider the experience of a child. More often than not the communication from others is directive or inquisitive. A child is told what to do next (although often in the form of a question in some cultures) or queried about their opinion or experience. For example, when picked up at school, a child might hear, “how was your day?” or “was the new teacher nice?” which the child must answer. Creating a time, even briefly, where the child directs the experience and is not required to produce any action or speech can be an important opportunity for the child to develop self-direction and confidence.

A structured play session has two participants, the child and the parent. It has a specific beginning and ending time, from twenty minutes to an hour. The time should be held without the possibility of interruption from phone calls or other family members. The time should be respected and not cancelled.

The toys available will be used to demonstrate experiences in metaphor and therefore should range in type. A minimal set includes a “bop bag”, cuddly animals, drawing paper and crayons or markers, constructions toys such as Legos, plastic soldiers, food toys such as fake food and dishes, people dolls or puppets, and a plastic gun or rubber knife. Many parents object to toy weapons and a rule can be made that these toys are only used during this special play time. The theme of power and control, a common struggle for children, is easier to play out with toys that represent power. It can be difficult to see a child act out violence, but unless the child is actually hurting the parent or herself (in which case boundaries should be swiftly and consistently enforced) the play continues.

In the play, the parent pays full attention. By reflecting the child’s feelings and actions the parent demonstrates understanding and acceptance of this child’s feelings. The parent avoids criticism, praise, questions, direction, advice, interruption, teaching, or initiating new activity. Statements that reflect feelings like “you’re confused about what to do next,” or even simpler single-word reflections like “sad” can affirm the child’s experience.

Through this process the parent will learn about the child’s experience in the world and in the family and the child will learn that their emotions are acceptable and manageable, which is a great gift for any child.